Plans, and Let the Judgement Begin!

You know when you find something new and you just LOVE IT SO MUCH that you throw yourself completely into immersing yourself completely in said thing and its all you do, think about, learn about all day everyday?  If you don't know anything about this, why are we even friends?! But seriously, I am this person.  When I get into something I get into it, hardcore.  I will research the heck out of something before taking the first step into it, and once I do take that step I live and breathe whatever it is I'm into to the absolute fullest. But I'm finding that pregnancy is a thing that can be insanely overwhelming once you are actually living it.   And then people judge you for literally even thinking about things.  It's insane.

Before Mr and I decided to try to get pregnant I read about a million fertility and pregnancy books.  I made several trips to the library and checked out the maximum amount at a time and devoured them all.  I ordered a few of the ones I found most useful/insightful from Powell's so I could keep them for reference and then started wading my way through all of the online resources for planning a successful pregnancy.  I talked to my friends about it and generally started forming a "plan" on how we were going to approach this whole pregnancy and parenting "thing".

That was the fun part.  I learned so many amazing things about the human body, about behavior, about the amazing products that you could get!  I felt like I knew about as much as I could know ahead of time about pregnancy and what to expect and how it would be and so we determined we were READY FOR THIS. Let's do this!

So we did it.

Guys, we got pregnant pretty quickly. I don't say it as a brag because I know these things are so darn random and that some people are not as lucky and try for months or years and are sometimes still not successful.  I had prepared myself to have a few months of "trying" and making sure to temper my expectation so that I wasn't disappointed if it didn't happen as quickly as we wanted it to, but we definitely got lucky.   The first few weeks I felt relatively normal and I made some PLANS.  I was going to exercise 5 days a week and take nightly walks and eat only organic, non-GMO foods and never drink soda (the food/beverage part was a thing that we already pretty much did, so not a huge change there). I was going to be the HEALTHIEST PREGNANT LADY THERE EVER WAS... according to my plan.

We were overjoyed!  And I was a little paranoid about something "bad" happening because that is what I do, but I know how to manage my anxiety, so off we went into the adventure of pregnancy.  I was re-reading my books and crying at cute commercials and ready to be the BEST PREGNANT PERSON EVER.

And then I hit the 7 week mark and thought WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY?  I had this mild nausea that started mid-morning and just stuck with me for the rest of the day.  And I started feeling like if I didn't get a nap in the early afternoons I was going to die of exhaustion.  And cooking?  Who can stand all of the smells?  Why does anyone eat anything but crackers and ginger ale and the occasional gummy bear???  And can I please go lie down and take another nap?  And why is bedtime so late? I can't make it through this show because it's already 8:00 PM!!  I vacuumed the living room and now I need to take a 20 minute rest on the couch. Exercise?  Are you kidding me?  That will cut into my nap time!  That first trimester is HARD and EXHAUSTING.

Most of my pregnant lady plans got put on the back burner.  I did not exercise 5 days a week because it was exhausting just being awake and existing.  I ate what smelled and tasted alright to me, and in minimal quantity because taking more than a few bites of even foods that tasted good was difficult.  And soda (especially ginger ale) became a necessary part of my almost daily diet.  Oh well, go ahead and judge me.

Then we entered into the second trimester and people were all, "Oh you are going to immediately feel SO MUCH BETTER!", and that did not happen.  At 12 weeks I still felt pretty icky, although not as badly as some of our friends have had it, so I knew I was still pretty lucky.  I tried to frame everything in a positive way like, "It's ok to feel pukey, because it means the HORMONES are doing their job and that baby is really in there growing", but saying that to yourself and actually feeling better are 2 separate things.  This continued until around weeks 16/17 and then I started feeling FREAKING GREAT.

Like now I see what people were talking about- that 2nd trimester energy burst.  I can clean the house in a single morning and not need a 2 hour nap to recover!  I can get all of my errands done in a day and not feel like I'm dying!  I can exercise! (just not even close to the intensity that I used to, but hey, I'm moving!)  And now I'm finding the time to get back into my research and check off all of the things from my Pregnancy To Do list that I've been slacking on.

Task 1- Registry.  Done!

But not without some confusion and tears.  You. Guys.  I have some great friends who sent me some very complete registry lists with notes on why they liked or needed something and I am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL to those folks.  I had lots of Facebook comments that were very similar and I spent a ton of time researching and really looking into things.  And then Mr and I felt like we had assembled a pretty complete registry of the things we wanted and needed and started giving it to those that asked.  And then we (but mostly me) got bombarded with ALL THE JUDGEMENT about what was and wasn't on our list.  Like we aren't adults that can research what we need or want.  Like we can't be trusted to pick stuff out for our own baby.  I know it's not helpful to argue with people so mostly I've been letting it go and just nodding my head and not really listening when we get these fun tidbits of advice, but it is working my last nerve.

Task 2- Create a Birth "Plan"- I mean, can it ever be done until I'm actually doing the thing?

Ok, I knew this part would get people all up in my business. Here's the thing.  I DO NOT JUDGE WOMEN FOR THE BIRTH PLAN CHOICES THEY MAKE.  You do what you feel good about doing.  I am all for supporting YOUR CHOICE since you are the one who is physically doing the thing (whether that thing be pushing a baby out of your body or scheduling a surgery to get that little one out).  You want to be all medicated up and not feel a thing?  Awesome!  You want them to freeze-dry your placenta and make it into pills.  Fantastic!  You want to play magical flute music in the background and hire a birth photographer?  Do your thing! So now that I'm making our birthing plan, I need people to show me the same respect that I showed them and NOT ASSUME THAT I'M AN IDIOT ABOUT LABOR AND BIRTH.

Remember when I said I jump headlong into things and research and plan until it takes over my life?  Yeah, so it's safe to assume that I have read ALL of the things that could go wrong, and I know that no matter what I plan something may make it necessary for me to change that plan.  I have seen so many birth videos, positive and negative, medicated and un-medicated, hospital and home (and otherwise).  I've read countless books and blogs, watched documentaries, talked to friends about their experiences. I have wonderful medical care with a team of people I respect and trust that answer my questions and help give me options.

I find it EXTREMELY insulting when other moms shame me by saying things like, "Well, we will see," or ,"You don't even know what it's like" when they ask me about our birthing plans.  Yeah, we WILL see and I DON'T know what my birth will be like because it hasn't happened yet, but that's why I get to create a plan!  Your birth horror story is not going to scare me.  The weird thing that happened to you or your friend may or may not happen to me, but it will all work out in the end.  I definitely do not have a romanticized idea about birth and I am trying to figure out the best way I know how to deal with the realities of labor and delivery with the body that I have in the hands of the medical professionals I work with.

And now I'll loosely share with you what our "plan" looks like, in case you are curious.  Just know that you should keep your judgement to yourself, and also maybe look at what exactly you are judging and why.


The Plan: (Flexible when needed)
*Currently we are scheduled to deliver at a Birthing Center with a team of doctors, midwives and doulas.

-Labor at home for as long as possible before heading to the birthing center.

• Use combination of meditation, breathing, visualization and relaxation techniques to work through the early phases.

-During Labor

• Free movement, intermittent monitoring, limited exams, no medications (the exception to this is gas).

-After Delivery

• Immediate skin to skin, delayed cord clamping, partner to cut cord, breastfeeding ASAP, no bath for baby, delay exams for bonding.

You may notice a few things are missing, and that's because we haven't made decisions on them just yet and that's ok.  Also, our plan may change before the birth or during... we don't know what will happen!  But we have prepared ourselves to be flexible when needed.

Now judge away, just keep it to yourself!

Stop Being Ableist Against Pregnant People... Or Any People Really

First let me start by saying that most people can't tell that I'm pregnant at first glance.  I just don't "look" pregnant yet... although I definitely feel pregnant.  But most of my coworkers know at this point, and it goes without saying that our friends and family all know by now as well.  For the most part people are very excited when they hear the news, and they like to ask me how "we" are doing when they see me.  I am actually fine with giving people updates and it's sort of nice to know that people are interested in this pregnancy and our one-day child.

There are a few things that can be difficult when interacting with others, though.  Some I've mentioned before (**cough, cough** UNSOLICITED ADVICE **cough**) but what has me riled up right now is that for some reason people started thinking that pregnant women aren't supposed to do anything physical.  I bent down to pick up my very petite purse at work the other day, I was NOT struggling to bend over or pick it up and a coworker stopped mid-conversation to say, "Oh be careful!  I can get that for you!! You're pregnant!".  I didn't mean to react the way I did, but boy did she get a death glare.  And then I responded with,"You know I have to bend over several times a day to do things like put my socks and shoes on, feed my dogs, etc and I'm fine, right?" It was a little salty, but COME ON FOLKS. Also, I KNOW I'm pregnant, but thank you for informing me (I kept that comment to myself).

Yes, I'm pregnant, and it does not disable me in any way at this point. A good strategy would be to wait for me to ask for some help before acting like I could be injuring my unborn child by bending over/carrying some mail/pushing an empty wagon. This scenario is not limited to the above example, but you get it.

I know that some folks have some physical limitations and they do need a little extra help when pregnant, but please ASK us first.  I'm an independent human being and I can definitely ask for help before I need it or if I think it's necessary. I have had discussions in the past with people about ableism and making assumptions about someone we may perceive as being lesser-abled than ourselves or someone else.  Typically all people would like to be respected and considered competent to get through their own lives without assistance, and having someone swoop in before assessing the situation fully and considering how we may feel can be a bit off-putting (for various reasons) and sometimes harmful.

One of my good friends has some limited physical mobility due to cerebral palsy.  We've discussed, on multiple occasions, how people will make assumptions about his physical abilities based off of his appearance and a lot of times those assumptions are pretty disrespectful and not helpful to him in any way. There are definitely times when he does need help, and he has no qualms about asking for it:  on a hike a few years ago on a drizzly Saturday with a group of our friends, he asked a couple of us to walk near him in case he needed to steady himself on the rocky sloping trail.  I'm so glad he asked for that help because the trail was indeed very slippery in spots and even those of us with quick reflexes and exceptional balance had some hairy moments that day. 

There have been other times where complete strangers will see him and make an assumption and try to force their help onto him: he has a story that is now comedic but was infuriating at the time, about when some well-meaning people tried to insist that he take a ride home from them at night outside of a local bar... not creepy at all.  He had been at a bar very near his home when he decided he would wander home for the evening.  A few bystanders saw him swaying a bit as he stood and made the assumption that he needed some help because he had possibly overindulged, which he had not... he just happens to be a little more off balance than the rest of us because of the physical manifestations of his CP.  They asked if he wanted a ride and he politely declined.  He continued to stand for a minute and take inventory of his things and check his phone before he was on his way and these strangers continued to pester him and tell him that they could easily drive him home, to the point where someone drove up with a van and the people kept bothering my dear friend to get in the car and let them drive him.  The thing is, he didn't live but a few blocks away and easily could walk, however he didn't want to tell strangers this and then have people know where he lived.  He also was not intoxicated and could make his own decisions just fine on his own.  Rather than listen to him, these people rather rudely insisted that they knew better than my friend did on how to get him home. 

Folks, you can't push your help on people, even if you think you are doing the right thing.  If you ask and your help is declined, be polite and move on.  There are various reasons that someone may not want or need your help and people need to respect that.  My friend here may look physically like he needs help, and sometimes he actually does!  But his answer in almost all situations is to ask him if he needs assistance first, not to assume that he will need it (one caveat to this is that some of us have been around him long enough to know when we can assume he needs the help... but that's what good friends do!).

In any case, making assumptions about what someone can or cannot do without involving them in that discussion is not very respectful.  Pregnancy has not turned me into glass, I will not shatter by doing normal life things.  In fact, pregnancy and labor can be an extremely physical endeavor so a few extra bends and squats will probably do me some good these days.  And remember, ASK people if they need assistance and read the clues.

Survival Mode, XX, And All the Names

13 weeks, folks.  We are finally into the 2nd trimester.  There are days when I forget that I'm pregnant, there are days that everything is amazing and I can't believe there is life growing inside of me... and then there are days where everything is awful and I'm just trying to survive and not barf all over everything. But do you know what makes it all better? We finally know!

Mr and I found out last week that our little has two X chromosomes! (that means that we are having a little female human).  For the sake of ease in conversation we are using female pronouns in reference to the babe for the time being (she, her, hers).

We are so excited to finally know.  It's one more piece in the puzzle of facts that makes up our little peach and it's been nice to be able to narrow our possible name list down a bit more. Announcing to our friends and family has been super fun, but it has also opened the floodgates of opinions around names.  What the hell, folks?  Everyone calm down!  We, like most people, have names that we already like and had been considering as possibilities.  We are not into getting feedback on our possibilities, nor will we be confirming a name until this baby makes her debut.  Has that stopped people from lobbing their preferred baby names at us?  It most certainly has not!  When in the history of ever has someone taken a suggested name for their offspring?  It must have happened at some point, but I would wager that it is a rare event.

Also, you can't "call dibs" on a name.  I have had several people tell me what we "can't" name our child, and while those names haven't been on our preferred list, unless you currently have a baby in your womb you don't get to tell other people they can't have a name.  Obviously these people forget that you don't get to tell me what to do.  If it wasn't affecting another life (my child's) I would take that name just to show you that you, in fact, CANNOT tell me what not to do (thanks, Mom, for the fierce independence and spite streak!).  So far though, I haven't liked the "dibs" names anyway, so no spite-naming.

So there is my pretty short update for this week because I really just need to go take a nap now.

We Don't Know!! Also, Let's Talk About Gender vs Sex.

Well hello there!  Look at me, successfully updating this blog.  I'm pretty proud of myself, especially since I'm finding out that "pregnancy brain" is real.  Seriously,  you guys.  I can't tell you how many times I've walked into a room to do something and forgotten why I'm there.  Or those times when I'm forgetting a common English word when having a conversation with someone (for example, cabinet was a word I forgot JUST THIS MORNING).  All fun.

Anyhow, this week we had our FIRST real appointment where they ask you all of the questions about you and your health and your partner's health and try to really pin down the due date, make you pee in a cup, make you give blood for some lab work, etc.  It really wasn't too bad, and I really like my midwife team.  All seems to be well and we just have to wait for lab results to come back.

But since we are nearing the end of the first trimester people are now starting to ask THE question.  Or, really, a series of questions.  Do you know the gender?  What do WANT to have?  What do think/feel like it is? Will you have more kids if you get a boy/girl first?

And before I answer all of those questions for you I need to get something off of my chest: people are not using the word gender correctly.  A general definition search of "gender" will bring back a couple of results very similar to this one:  "the state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones)." ~Dictionary.com (underlining and italics added by me for emphasis).

Here's the thing,  I cannot answer your question because this baby has not been born yet or decided how they want to be defined in terms of gender.  Biologically speaking, we don't know yet which 2 chromosomes combined at the moment of conception so are unsure of the biological sex of said future baby.  And please don't give me the semantics talk.  Clearly it's become very apparent in recent years that our dialogue around biological makeup versus gender identity needs to change for the better; to be less divisive in our understanding of male and female and to just let people be.

Let's take a little trip back down memory lane to when I was a small child.  Being biologically female, it was assumed that I would like certain things and be interested in specific "female" activities.  This was partially true as I loved to play dress up, wear dresses and put on makeup, played with dolls, took tap/jazz/ballet classes, the list goes on and on.  But it was also a little harmful to my identity (don't worry, it was nothing too traumatic and I worked through it) because once I was school aged I also discovered that I loved rocks and dinosaurs, that bugs were pretty cool, and that being outside was a preferred play location which were definitely out of the scope of what I knew to be "girl" things to do or like.

Here's where it became harmful- I remember very clearly when being asked in school what I wanted to do when I grew up and I was consciously censoring myself to my classmates and to the adults around me that I wanted to be a teacher or a nurse.  I didn't really want to be either of those things at all, but because our society has had some pretty solid gender identity rules that I was learning, I thought that if I told the truth about what I really wanted to be I would be made fun of.  That my friends would think I was strange or stupid.  That someone would tell me that I had to pick something else because girls don't become scientists and get to explore or discover anything. So I did the next best thing I could think of at that age and stared lying about what I wanted to be. So silly, I know.

And what was it that I really wanted to be?  A god damned Paleontologist.  My parents bought me countless books on geology and dinosaurs and I was endlessly fascinated each time we got to go to the natural history museum and look at all of the fossils on display. I was encouraged by my parents and my teachers as I excelled in science classes, but I was also very uncomfortable admitting to anyone that I wanted to do something that was considered "masculine".  At that time I don't recall any female scientists, geologist or paleontologists in my books, giving talks on tv shows or being referenced in the displays and pictures at the museum.  All I saw were men and my tiny little child mind thought, "there's no way I could be one of these men, so I have to pick something else." And the reality is that my friends all said "I want to be a teacher", "I want to be a nurse", or "I want to be a mom" and so I felt like I needed to conform to that as well and pick something from the "grown up girl" list to be.

Let me be extremely clear.  My parents were, and are still, absolutely amazing.  They always encouraged me and my sister to pursue our passions.  They were never negative about our interests or passions (and were super into some of the same things we were as kids- hence the rock tumbler I got for Christmas in 1st grade, or the books about dinosaurs for my birthday, the trips to the museums to check out the latest exhibits, etc).  I think they didn't realized the pressure I felt as a very young girl to conform to the societal ideals of what a "girl" should eventually grow up and become.  If they had, I'm positive my parents would have pulled me aside and said "That's ridiculous, you can become a paleontologist if you want!" and I'm sure my mom would have immediately researched a list of female scientists to tell me all about.

Spoiler alert!  I didn't become a paleontologist or any sort of scientist.  I let that dream die because I thought that it wasn't the line of work for me because I was a "girl". As I've gotten older I'm a little upset that I suppressed that desire.  At this point I can't let it be a regret, but I can try to create an environment where some of those nonsensical stereotypes aren't adhered to so that my future child can be a scientist, or an artist, or a dancer, or a giant purple people eater.  You get it; people shouldn't feel some unspoken pressure to do or not do something just because of their biological sex and our cultural attitudes about them.

As Mr and I prepare to become parents, I'm really taking a deep look at some of my childhood memories and experiences.  I'm unpacking some of the things that made me scared or anxious or uncomfortable so I can try to make sure that we make things a little easier for our little one if its something we can control.  And you know what I can control?  Changing the way we speak about gender.  The way we define what gender roles and stereotypes mean to us and how we, hopefully, don't press too much onto our child that will limit their future.

Maybe some people think this is a little too woo-woo or hippy dippy but I don't care.  I've seen the damage done because of it... and I'm not just talking about the extremely SMALL amount in my life.  I want kids to be kids and enjoy what they want to enjoy without worrying if they fit into a gender stereotype.  I don't want them to feel limited to what they can grow up and become because it's not the "masculine" or "feminine" norm.  We have definitely gotten better since I was young and there are a ton more female role models in male-dominated careers, as well as plenty more men doing what used to be considered more "feminine" careers.  We still have some things to change, though, and the words we use are an important part in making these changes.

Now I will answer all of those questions:

1. Sex- we don't know!!  We will hopefully know soon and will definitely make an announcement.

2. No preference.  SERIOUSLY.  We want a healthy baby.  And sex doesn't really matter.  I've thought about it A LOT and there are things that I think I will enjoy with either and then things I think I won't enjoy... so really I don't care.

3. I may be slightly psychic/intuitive but this is not one of those things I know.

4. Can you let me have this one first?  We don't know yet!!

Remember When I Used to Blog Regularly? And Also, Don't Give Me Unsolicited Advice!

Well hey there!  It's been SEVERAL years since I've posted anything on here.  You know how it is, life got busy but also not super interesting and I sort of forgot about posting updates.  I'll give you a quick run-down of the past 4 1/2 years since the last post and then move on to the important things.

2014- I got a different job at the same company, thus beginning a 3 and a half year journey that ultimately I could have done without.  Mr and I went to Ireland and Scotland and absolutely fell in love with it. I found out I actually DO have Celiac's disease and so I really DO need to not eat the gluten, even if I really want it.  We also found out how bad my side effects can get (not a fun time).

2015- More of the same.  Work work work. I turned 30. Lots of camping, hiking and backpacking trips around Oregon and Washington.  We finally ventured to Crater Lake, threw and EPIC Harry Potter themed Halloween party, and took Mr to Tennessee for his first time.  We also finally made it to Universal Studios Orlando and found that it was our most favorite place to vacation in the US.

2016- Work. Camping, backpacking, hiking.  All the house projects!  New downstairs flooring, new carpets upstairs, stained the fence, had to have the hot water heater fixed SEVERAL TIMES, got new kitchen and bathroom counter tops.  Took Mr to Colorado for the first time ever and he LOVED it. Got another epic tattoo.  Mr got his FIRST tattoo ever.  Lots of concerts- living out our middle and high school music dreams.  Had to put the cat down (saddest day ever). Did this whole Minimalist thing and got rid of SO MUCH JUNK.  Very liberating. Got really super upset with American politics and started listening to lots of punk rock again.

2017- Continued the Minimalist thing sort of, mostly. Got a new job! Got a new car!  Went back to Orlando for another Universal Studios vacation because its OUR FAVORITE, OK? Then went to Disneyland because we can, OK? Took Mr to Upstate NY for the first time ever and showed him Amish people and Niagara Falls. Went to lots of concerts.  Lots of Punk concerts.  Attended some protests and marches.

2018- Still love the newer job.  Went treasure hunting in Montana.  Visited Yellowstone National Park for the first time ever and saw all of the amazing nature things with Mr.  Took a sabbatical from work and went to South Korea and Japan with Mr and one of our good friends.  Got to PET OWLS IN AN OWL RESCUE ZOO (and didn't cry!!). Came home from overseas and then took my mom to Yellowstone and treasure hunting as well.  Finished my sabbatical and returned to work.  Got Pregnant.

Yep, that about sums it all up.


Oh wait, that last bit.

Turns out that Mr and I are ready (we think) to have kids, so we gave that a try and now I'm pregnant.  So here we are at the second half of this post that I'd like to call "Don't Give Me Unsolicited Advice".

As I type this I am in my 10th week of pregnancy.  Here's the thing, it's hard but not the worst thing ever.  Are we excited to be having a baby of our own soon?  Yes.  Do I love every minute of being pregnant? NO.  I know it's a different experience for everyone and that every woman has her own journey with pregnancy.  I knew going into this that there would be some hard and uncomfortable things to deal with... mostly because I'm the type of person that researches everything and asks everyone all of the questions before I do anything major in my life so I had some idea of what was ahead of me.

So far I haven't had it that bad, especially knowing what some of my family and friends have been through in their pregnancies.  I have had or currently have all of the usual stuff:  sore boobs, bigger boobs, mood swings, cravings, food aversions, smell aversions, nausea (I refuse to call it morning sickness because it happens WHENEVER IT FEELS LIKE IT, not just in the morning), mild headaches, mild cramps, loose-feeling joints (if that makes any sense), peeing constantly, increased burps and gas, bloating, constipation, fatigue, vivid dreams, hair and nails that grow like crazy.

There's something about pregnancy that makes everyone forget about boundaries.  Not everyone does this, but in general I've noticed that those boundaries get pushed a bit more than usual.  I also think that people forget who I am in all of this.  Have I ever been one to go along with what everyone else is doing or making my decisions based off of the larger group trend?  Have I ever been ok with people crossing my boundaries?  Not really.  And none of that has changed.

I love that people care about me and want to know how I'm doing, but I think some are getting confused and maybe asked me the wrong question.  Example of this in a recent conversation:



Person I know:  "How are you feeling?"

Me:  "Mostly good, except I didn't realize how tired I would be in the first trimester! I'm yawning all day long and I need naps all the time!

Person I know: "Yeah, you should definitely be going to bed earlier, and sleeping in later.  It's much better for the baby, so don't forget to rest!  And stop staying up so late!".

Me: "... Yeah, so I'm definitely getting lots of sleep each night..."

Person I know:  "OH!  And don't forget to take a good prenatal vitamin.  It's so important!   I think I have some leftover that I'll bring you.  And drink lots of water.  Pregnant women need more water, so even if you aren't thirsty make sure you are sipping on that water!"

Me: "Yeah... I've got a prenatal vitamin that I've been taking since before we got pregnant since we were planning this..."

Person I know: "How about the MORNING SICKNESS?  Do you have that yet?  You should keep some crackers by your bedside and nibble a few first thing in the morning.  It saved me!  And also take some extra vitamin B6.  But be careful, there are certain medications that you definitely shouldn't be taking.... really, though, its a good sign when you aren't feeling good because it means things are going well in there!"

Me: " *big sigh*... yeah, I've gotta get going so... talk later I guess"

Person I know:  "Yes! Keep me updated! I have so many helpful tips!"



Alright, so this is a conversation that I've had almost verbatim recently.  I think what the person should have asked me instead of how I was feeling should have been something closer to "Can I dump all of my pent-up pregnancy tips on you even though you are a smart person and probably know most of them?".  Then it would give me a chance to respond appropriately depending on the situation and save me some frustration.

It stresses me out when I get unsolicited advice and have to deal with your overwhelming and often unhelpful "tips".  And you know what?  Stress is bad for the baby... and we don't want that, do we?

So I promise I will start blogging again regularly and keep all those interested updated on the pregnancy.  I will CLEARLY STATE when I am wanting advice, just so there is no confusion.