It's the holidays and everything is glowy and lit up and beautiful... and then you venture out of your little holiday bubble to get groceries or put gas in your car and you realize that people are still totally idiotic.
Here are just a few things that are making me go sideways this week that I need to vent about:
1. Helpless People- I'm not talking about people that actually need help doing things, I'm really talking about people who are lazy and act all, "Woe is me, I cannot get my stuff done... what am I to do?" and then they look at you as if you are supposed to bail them out. Well, I've got stuff to do also and I have the same 24 hours in a day to do them so don't look at me. Organize yourself and get your shit together.
2. Bad Eyebrows- this one's for the ladies. It is totally true that a well-done eyebrow really frames your face and keeps you looking polished. But if eyebrows are NOT well done... it makes me want to give you a face-wipe and have you start over again before you embarrass yourself even more. This is for sure one of my OCD hang-ups. Mr and I were on the train into Portland one day (can't really remember what for... maybe a Timbers game?) and there was a young lady dressed really well, hair done very nicely and then the WORST EVER drawn on eyebrows. It was like she took a black chisel-tip marker and drew a thick straight line over each eye lid. I could not stop staring at her and for a good week that's all I could think about. And the epidemic seems to be growing as I've seen a few ladies while out and about this week that did the same thing. Either this is a new and terrible trend for make up, or no one showed these ladies how to do an eyebrow arch fill-in with the correct colored powder or pencil.
3. Waiting Until the Last Minute- this one is mostly work related... but this also happens in my personal life from time to time. I cannot stand it when people ask me to do stuff totally last minute, especially when they've known about it for a while. I totally understand that things come up that have to quickly be taken care of, but I'm not talking about those instances. I'm talking about when people have a meeting planned for MONTHS and then the day before the meeting run up and ask me to help them coordinate logistics (like food, room set up, etc). Like I don't already have things on my To Do list and have them scheduled out for the day... let me totally drop what I'm doing to help you because this wasn't something you could have asked me 2 months ago to help with, right?
4. People that baby-talk their children. Just stop! I hate how it sounds, and it makes me want to poke my eardrums out. It's not cute, no one enjoys listening to it, and you are contributing to your child's terrible grammar and incorrect pronunciation of the english language.
5. People that Don't Use Turn Signals While Driving- I cannot read your mind. I have no idea when you slow down what you are doing unless you use your turn signal to tell me that you are slowing down so you can turn left up at that street. I also will not make room for you to get over into my lane on the highway if you don't use your turn signal to tell me that you want over... why? Because I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND and I DON'T KNOW THAT YOU WANT OVER INTO MY LANE. So keep your hand gestures to yourself, ass, and instead use your hand to turn on your blinker.
6. People That Assume Things and Don't Ask- Just don't. Always ask. I'd rather be "bothered"* with a question about something rather than someone assuming they can 1) use something of mine 2) put things that aren't mine in my area and 3) assume I will do something that is not my responsibility. You planned a party? Awesome! You just left all of the party decorations at my desk and assumed I would bring them and set the party up for you? Not a chance in hell. Had you asked, probably. But you didn't. You are on your own. Also, see #3.
7. Chipped Nail Polish. This doesn't happen that often because of the invention of Shellac nail polish, however it's now not as easy to fix when it does. I totally admit that this is another one of my little OCD things because I cannot stop touching the chipped spot until it is fixed. Every nail must be smooth and perfect or I fixate on the imperfection. Does that make me crazy? Probably.
Ok, that's it for now... until next edition!
*Questions hardly ever bother me, so I'm saying that sarcastically.
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