When You Grow Up

When you grow up, sometimes you realize you have really crappy friends and probably should make some new ones.  For serious.

This has been a pretty abrupt realization and it makes me a little frustrated but also sort of relieves me of  exhausting myself trying to make relationships work that aren't really worth my time.  At the start of it all I had to eliminate some "friends" that I realized weren't being very good friends to me and were just using our relationship to their benefit without actually being interested in the relationship itself.  That was a sad moment, and after I was over the hurt of it I began paying closer attention to the other relationships in my life.  You see, I think I got caught up (as I should have) in having the best relationship I've had in my life with Mr and sort of assumed that my friendships would elevate the way the rest of my life has, but that has not been the case.

I found when examining those relationships that I was starting to question that I was letting myself be fooled- by the people themselves or by my own optimistic outlook on those people and the friendship I've given them.  I'm far from perfect, but I would count myself a good and faithful friend.  Apparently some people will take that for granted, and thusly I need to rid myself of that.  It is quite a shame because some of them happen to be married to/in a relationship with awesome people that I'd prefer to stay close with so some are going to have to remain in a precarious balance until something happens one way or the other.  However the others I've decided are out- for my own good.  What use is it trying to be a good friend to someone who doesn't want your friendship or doesn't care enough to reciprocate.

On the opposite side of the coin I've reflected on the relationships that mean the most to me.  I am blessed to know some truly amazing people and have some unexpected friendships that mean more to me than I originally thought they would (if that makes any sense at all).  So all hope is not lost.  Sometimes you must turn the corner and loose sight of the old, but what lies ahead is so much more promising.

When you grow up these things are a lot less traumatizing.