Oh man, you guys. Things are moving so quickly! I cannot believe we are into the 3rd trimester already. Before the holidays I felt like we had ages to go, but now January has flown by and we have mere weeks before this babe could arrive. I'm currently busy trying to make sure everything and everyone at work are prepared for my maternity leave, which is somewhat stressful. Mr and I are trying to put the finishing touches on the baby's room. The shower is scheduled for a couple weeks from now and all I want to do is stay at home and get all of the lingering house projects finished while I still can. And we only have a few more birthing classes to go!
Mr has been super amazing; he's been enthusiastic about our classes and awesome at practicing some of the homework they've been giving us (and I can't complain because some of this "homework" is massage/counter pressure to help with pregnancy and labor discomfort). He has taken over some of the more physical home tasks and chores since I've become less mobile/flexible. He's also started researching all sorts of random baby things in his spare time (best books to read, best music and lullabies for newborns, art for the baby room, etc) and then excitedly sharing them with me. I absolutely love it, and am so glad he is my partner in all of this. This baby already has such a wonderful dad.
While on the whole things are pretty positive and going well, I am starting to feel like I'm ready to be done with being pregnant. Am I happy we are pregnant and having a baby soon? Of course, I am overjoyed! Are there things that are less than pleasant that I am having to deal with? Yes, and I knew that would be part of this journey. I also want to point out that this is not an invitation to give me your advice on what to do to solve these things I'm ranting about. I'm a smart lady (most of the time) and have researched solutions and asked my doctors for advice, as well as some of my close friends who I know have experienced the same or similar pregnancy issues. So you can go ahead and save your advice. Sometimes I just need a little vent session to feel better, so without further ado, here are my current rants:
1. Sleep & Pain. Growing a whole human inside your own body is amazing. Sometimes I cannot believe that we can actually do this! And while I mostly feel pretty good, physically, there are times (that are becoming more frequent as of late) where pain is a reminder of the vast changes taking place in my own body. I've reached the point where I can no longer sleep in long chunks of time at night. I think the max on the average night that I can go without waking up is about 2.5 hours. Why am I waking up so frequently? Pain. My hips and knees start to hurt after sleeping in one position for too long, so inevitably my body wakes me up to have me move to a new position. Yes, I've got the pregnancy pillows and bolsters (my side of the bed is a pillow fortress at this point) and have found that some things work much better than others at helping to keep me at an optimal/comfortable position a little longer, but I still end up having to wake up several times a night due to pain and discomfort. By the wee hours of the morning it doesn't really matter what position I move into, my body is already uncomfortable everywhere and therefore I don't get much, if any, sleep between the hours of 3:30am and 6:00am when I typically wake up and start to get ready for my day. Some days I am SO TIRED because of the lack of continuous sleep that it's a struggle to do basic things.
The other pain I'm discovering exists is sciatic pain. Yay! I've never in my life experienced this until now. And in my case, it usually hits me after a few hours of physical work (deep cleaning the house, organizing the baby room, cleaning out the extra bedroom, etc). What has been happening is that I will do a project on a Saturday morning (like paint the baby room, etc) and then in the afternoon once the project is complete (or at a good stopping point) I will sit and read or take a nap, and then when I get up from the easier activity of the afternoon I get crazy shooting pains that originate from my hip area into my lower back and down into my legs. This usually happens when I get up from sitting or lying down and continues for the next day or two after the activity. I will say that I am WAY less physical than I was before pregnancy. I don't feel like I'm pushing myself too hard and I take care to lift properly and not strain and to ask Mr for help. But here we are. My lovely mother bought me a support band and that has helped some, so it could be worse, right?
2. I miss hard workouts. That's a weird one, right? And although I've never been an ultra marathoner or power lifter, I do enjoy a challenging workout... one where you get super drippy with sweat and your muscles start to fail and you end your workout feeling like you successfully climbed Mount Everest. I used to LOVE spin class; I took it about twice a week on average pre-pregnancy and though it was difficult I always looked forward to the days when I had that class. I went to 1 spin class very shortly after I became pregnant and realized that I just couldn't do it. My body did not have the energy it once did and I felt pretty gross afterwards. I also used to love lifting heavy weights a few times a week. It always gave me a powerful feeling, so of course I thought this was something I might be able to continue. While I can still lift weights while pregnant, I can't lift the heavier weights and I definitely can't push myself to the point where I'm sweaty and breathless from it. I still work out plenty; prenatal yoga, prenatal Pilates, and lots of long semi-brisk walks each week, but it's not the same intensity that I grew to love so I'm looking forward to the day when I have the energy to challenge myself again.
3. Maternity Clothing. You Guys. Like all clothing, maternity clothing varies GREATLY by brand. Sizing & fit is all over the place, colors/patterns/materials are somewhat limited and what constitutes as maternity is also subjective. I have found a few good pieces to get me through, but its a struggle each month as my belly grows to keep up with basics. And don't even get me started on maternity activewear. There are a few companies that make maternity activewear, and even fewer that make AFFORDABLE maternity activewear. Like, are you guys nuts? I'm not spending $95 on leggings that I will only be wearing for a few months total. Target and Old Navy have been my saving graces here so far. I just wish more physical store locations had maternity sections so I could try things on instead of gambling on if something online will actually fit me/ look the way I want it to. I've won some and I've lost far more with online ordering.
I also have an issue with maternity underwear and bras. The styles of underwear and super limited and the types of fabrics they use are just... too thick? I've finally just sized up in my favorite regular underwear and make it work. As for bras, I've spent more money on bras in the last 7 months than I have in the last 7 years. HOLY CRAP. These ladies just keep growing, and now my ribcage is expanding and nothing fits exactly right. I'm just trying to make do until I have to get some nursing bras.
4. People's unhelpful comments & advice. For the most part, I know people want to connect in ways that that convey that they've been where I've been. It's just human nature to find commonalities and want to talk about them. Inevitably in conversations people ask how the pregnancy is going (or something along the lines of pregnancy, baby, etc) and I, being a super honest and genuine person, typically respond truthfully. If I'm having a hard day because I didn't sleep well the night before then I say that. What is 100% NOT HELPFUL is when someone responds with "advice", like "well, you won't be getting much sleep once the baby comes anyway, so it's nature's way of getting you ready!". Oh yeah, Susan? SUCK IT. I'm not telling you because I wan't advice, I'm responding truthfully to a question that you asked. Does your comment help me get more sleep? No? THEN DON'T MAKE IT!!! Also, I'd like to point out that not every baby wakes up every 2 hours to feed/be changed/etc, and while I concede that some do and some babies are more challenging than others, none of that is helpful since the baby is still inside of me and I would still like to be getting more sleep RIGHT NOW.
My other favorite type of comment are once that people preface with things like, "Not to be a bummer but....*insert advice or anecdote about babies/pregnancy/parenting here*....". Ok, so then DON'T BE A BUMMER. If you need to preface what you are about to say with a qualifier about it being depressing/off-putting then please rethink saying it. I can tell you right now that literally nothing I've been told has been new information to me. I have a younger sister, so I got to watch my mother go through pregnancy/birth/newborn stage/toddlerhood with her. I have friends who have kids and have watched them go through it as well. I like to think that I am an informed person who is more than aware of what the CHOICE OF PREGNANCY Mr and I have made will mean in our lives, now and in the future. Be supportive and understanding, not an unhelpful ass.
5. My brain. Oh, pregnancy brain is totally a thing. I mean, I'd heard about it before but never really understood it. There's a new level of forgetfulness in my life right now and it's infuriating but also a little hilarious. Why did I put the remote control in the refrigerator when I was making my lunch this morning? I have no recollection of even doing that, but it happened. Mr told me about a class he was taking- dates/times/etc and 10 minutes later I had completely forgotten about the entire conversation and scheduled a thing for us to do at that exact date/time. I forget common words constantly, and I lose track of what I'm talking about mid sentence sometimes. I'm lucky that I'm surrounded by people who have been pregnant before or have spouses/partners that have gone through this so no one is really giving me a hard time, but it's just frustrating to feel like I'm just not on it the way I used to be. I really miss my old brain and the way it could organize and handle information.
6. Energy. I am a busy body. Up until pregnancy, even on easy days where I didn't have much that I had to do, I was always doing SOMETHING. I like to feel productive and I like to be independent and get things done on my own, it's just who I am. I don't expect other people to be that way at all, but it's just my way and I'd gotten used to GO GO GO. For me, pregnancy has zapped me of any extra energy to do the projects that I used to do. Cleaning and organizing are fun and soothing for me and a typical Saturday morning pre-pregnancy was to get up, eat some breakfast, make a giant mug of coffee and then deep clean the house. I'm talking wipe down the baseboards while listening to rock music and breaking a sweat clean. Now I fold some laundry and vacuum the bedroom and I need to have a little rest and some water. Things that used to take me and hour now take me 2... or sometimes a few minutes each day for a week. I try to give myself a lot of grace and patience because I am, in fact, growing a whole human in my body, but slowing down is hard for me. I'm lucky that I have a partner who picks up the slack when I can't get to something now and who reminds me to be nice to myself and focus on being well for our baby. It's not all bad, it's an adjustment.
7. Medication. I'm not a huge medications person... if I have a headache my first go-to remedy is usually a big glass of water and some rest before I take any OTC meds for it. Boy do I miss being able to pop a Sudafed when I'm too stuffed up to blow my nose or drink an extra latte on the random afternoon when I get the blahs.
In reality it's not all bad, and I'm really looking forward to the days when this little one is out of my body and able to interact with both Mr and I. It will be so fun to show her all of our favorite things and teach her about the world. But for right now I just need a little rant (and probably a nap).
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