Hello friends! It's been a minute; turns out that keeping a tiny human alive is a little bit of work so I haven't blogged as much as I'd originally planned. (Jokes! I already knew having a baby would be hard work).
In honor of National Breastfeeding Week I wanted to share my journey so far. Before I dive in I just want to say that while breastfeeding is amazing and has worked well for us, I fully believe that fed is best, however that works out for you. And as always this is a post about our experiences and not asking for advice.
Our little J was a couple weeks early (just on the cusp of full term, but not quite). She was so tiny, but healthy, however her size and a very slight tongue tie kept her from achieving a great latch and I was so engorged that my nipples flattened out which didn't make things any easier. The first few days we just kept at it, but I was so worried that she wasn't getting enough, so I would hand express colostrum and try to syringe feed her in addition to her normal breastfeeding sessions. We had a few appointments with the LC those first couple of days which were so helpful in reassuring me that we were going to get this straightened out. About a week and a half after her birth we had a frenectomy for J to get her tongue tie corrected. Again, it was super mild but we wanted to make sure we took care of it. I also started pumping as soon as my milk came in (so like day 4 or 5 after her birth) so we could supplement with bottles to ensure she was truly getting enough.
The first couple weeks of breastfeeding I was surprised that it wasn't as painful as people had told me it would be. I only had mild irritation and was making sure to use lanolin or another balm after each feeding session. We did the feed/ try some expressed milk in a bottle dance for a few weeks, and then had a follow up LC appointment around a month after J's birth. We did a weighted feed and found that she was taking around 2.5 ounces per feeding! I was shocked and so relieved. It's so hard when breastfeeding to know exactly how much your babe is really getting. At around week 6 or 7 she stopped taking the extra bottles after a feed (she would typically only eat a half an ounce or so after breastfeeding anyway). This is around the same time that my nipples decided that this was NOT FUN AT ALL. I went from having super mild irritation to having crazy pain for the first 30-45 seconds of feeding or pumping that I would wince and audibly gasp. Poor Mr would look over at me and think I was crying over something emotional... only to have me say, "NOPE, my nipples just hurt THAT BADLY".
You guys, when people say "If breastfeeding hurts, then something is wrong" they can be SO WRONG. Nothing was wrong at all. J had a good latch by then, I was keeping my nipples clean and balmed up, changed into clean nursing bras constantly, using lube when I pumped, ALL THE RIGHT THINGS. I didn't have cracked nipples, thrush or mastitis or any of those common problems (I did get a bleb once, but it was over at the side and resolved itself after a couple of days), so the nipple pain was just me getting used to having a baby sucking on me 12-15 times per day. It eventually went away as my body adjusted, but it was VERY uncomfortable for a little while. By all means make sure you have a great LC and get things checked out, but also know that it can be painful and that is NORMAL, and the pain will eventually go away.
Anyway, since the pain disappeared we have been plugging away and J has been exclusively breastmilk fed (mostly breastfed, with some pumped bottles) for just over 4 months!! It is amazing to be able to continue to provide all the nutrients my baby needs with just my body! It's so portable and easy for us, but there have been downsides:
1. Breastfeeding in public/around others- as a first time mother I was not yet comfortable just whipping a boob out and feeding my baby. My own mother had breastfed both myself and my little sister and I remember her breastfeeding freely and we have many friends who breastfeed around us so you'd think I wouldn't have any hang ups around this, but I totally did. And it was situational. It really depended on who I was around at first. Now we are way more comfortable with it and it doesn't really matter where I am or who I am with, but it did take some time and practice in order to be comfortable and confident.
2. The amount of time spent breastfeeding/pumping- man, it's more than a full time job! It does come with benefits, just not any pay. There have been some days when that's all I've accomplished, and sometimes only just the breastfeeding part.
3. Constantly having someone/something touch you- I love being able to provide nourishment and bond with my baby, but sometimes I just want some time with no one else touching me/no machine hooked up to me. I'm not one of those people who loves to constantly be touched, so having someone attached to me for most of a day and then having a machine pulling at me during the off time can be a little frustrating.
4. My boobs are now unruly- I mean, I didn't have small ones before, but now... finding tops is difficult. Finding bras is difficult. These breastfeeding boobs are difficult, and I have no idea what will happen to them in the long run.
The benefits really outweigh the inconveniences for us, and there are numerous benefits (which I won't waste time repeating here as you can find sources aplenty espousing the benefits of breastfeeding). It really has been a great way to bond with J and on days when I feel like I've not accomplished much, at least I can say that I fed my baby. Who knows how long we will continue, but I really have learned to love breastfeeding and this journey it has taken us on.
So to all the moms out there doing the hard work of breastfeeding, cheers! Keep up the good work!
